There are many labels that can be given to an empath – “a sensitive soul” or “an old soul” are two that I have been served up with a side order of pity and negativity over the years.
Another one, which is a little more abstractly linked, is “pessimist”. If there was a negative emotion within a 10 km radius – I was feeling it and struggling to let go of it in a hurry.
I never truly saw myself as an empath – more of someone who held onto (hoarded) past emotional turmoil. But a little bit of inner stocktaking, and I can see that both are true.
Should someone be struggling with a romantic relationship, or their work relationship with colleagues or bosses, I would not only be instantly feeling and living their pain – but I would be reliving every kind of similar pain I had in my past – dwelling there in my own pain story.
Don’t even get me started about romantic movies – I can dredge up so much personal grief and angst – that I can come out of the cinemas looking like I’ve gone a few rounds in the boxing ring – both physically and mentally.
So how is this a gift?
Well in my search for ways to protect myself from others’ energy, and release some of these past emotional hurts, I have turned towards my creative endeavours.
I find that telling my story in a creative way – helps to heal. And sharing these creations helps to heal. And by trying different ways of expressing my story – I am given the gift of understanding and insight – and this helps to heal.
All these past wounds of mine – they haven’t healed as I haven’t been able to understand and process them. But by creatively expressing them, another layer is revealed, and another layer is healed – and there is more space.
My artwork unwraps the layers, my poetry unwraps the layers – and there exposed is the layer underneath – and I am always surprised at what I find – what it is connected to and how it has been gripping me in a way I was not aware of. There will be more layers and more hurts to heal. But there will also be more stories to share and heal.
And all of this space – allows me connection – to my self and to the Universe. And when I am connected, I can serve others with my understanding and my sensitivity – I can be a true witness to the stories of many – just like you – and I can help you share and help you heal. This is the gift of my sensitive soul.
